Weird dude, weird crash.
by Pierre Martins
Way back when my Porsche 928 race car was still a street-legal car I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to take the missus for a visit to Sun City. Now, I’m no gambler cause my luck is of such a nature that if I ever had to fall into a barrel of titties I’d most likely come up sucking my thumb, but I kinda figured everyone should do Sun City at least once in a lifetime, even if it’s just for the sake of the experience. That, and the X-rated movies of course, not that I’m into porn and stuff like that, I assure you. You know what I mean, he-he-he…
So there we were on the road to Sun City. I was doing about 170km/h with one eye on the road as I fiddled with the radio trying to find a better station. About 50m ahead of us was this dude lying flat on the tank of one of those old Honda CB400 fours. You know, the one with the exhaust headers that wrap around the side of the engine, old piece of shit…
170km/h was obviously maximum top end on that thing if you were lying flat on the tank for better aerodynamics, but out of the blue the dude suddenly sat up straight on the bike as if someone had just rammed a red hot iron rod up his arse and proceeded to turn off the road straight into a freshly ploughed field where he crashed his brains out in a cloud of red dust!
I couldn’t believe my eyes. Pulled over as quick as I could and ran over to see if I could help. The guy just sat there with his ass planted firmly in dusty red soil and a bewildered look in his eyes. I asked him if he was hurt and he said “No, I don’t think so…”
There was no blood and it didn’t look as if he broke any bones. After a short while I helped him to his feet and asked him what the hell happened? He said he was resting his chin on the top triple clamp, hit a pothole, knocked himself out and the next thing he remembered was tumbling along in the ploughed land next to the road bike and in the same breath told me was okay to laugh if I wanted to, which is exactly what I did! He-he-he…
That had to be the funniest accident I ever saw. To come off at 170km/h and not get hurt is a miracle. Even the bike was okay. We picked it up, pushed it back to the road and I used the pump from the Porsche’s space saver spare wheel to blow him and the bike as clean as could be. The bike fired up after cranking it over a few times and off he went, back in the opposite direction.
He obviously lost his will to reach his original destination. I wonder if he was also going to Sun City? After that incident I reckon he should have, before his luck changed.