Tuesday, December 22, 2009

funny stories & profanity check

On this Blog.  
by Pierre Martins

As you’ve probably gathered by now, there are two things in life I love – driving and writing. As for my writing, I’d like to think that I write entertaining stuff for the most part, but I also have no illusions about the fact that I sometimes suffer from writer’s diarrhoea and end up writing a load of crap. And sometimes when I suffer from these spouts of writer’s poop, the language can get a bit, erm, shall we say ‘strong’…?

So be forewarned – You can expect some occasional slippage into the more profane side of the English lingo when you read this blog, but these words do exist and are used by the majority of real people in everyday life, whether you like it or not. This blog is written in a chatting style and I only curse for the sake of expressive significance. Hey there’s a new one - Expressive significance! - Sounds like bullshit in itself, but how’s that for justifying swearing? He-he!

Anyway, regardless of my profanity, I sincerely hope you enjoy some of these stories… 

Johnny Bravo and the Texas Files


I’m fairly good at remembering faces, but about as inept as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest when it comes to remembering names.

It’s a character deficiency that’s caused me some real embarrassing moments at times, but then one day I read something somewhere along the lines that you’re more likely to remember names if you memorise them with humorous connotations and I must say I’ve actually enjoyed a fair amount of success with this system ever since…

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Keith’s cross-holes

HPIM0721 At the start of the 2006 season I tested a 350hp pre-73 Porsche 911 RSR replica for initial shakedown and track setup. This is a funny little track story about the brakes on that car…

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Meet Naughty Tyres

Image(978)[1] This little car carries a lot of good karma. Olly and I turned it into a little side-line race car project, and it gave us plenty laughs…

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Never too old to learn 

July 30 pics 082 Some years ago when I was still young and dumb and full of cum I woke up early one Sunday morning to the sound of breakfast runners winding it up at a nearby intersection…

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Racing with Hair-Lip Sean 

finger During the late nineties the local Northern Regions Super-mono bike championship was a hotly contested series with a mixed bag of riders. I got into it when someone offered me a ride for a couple of seasons and discovered how much fun it was…

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Sun City run

gamble I’m no gambler cause my luck is of such a nature that if I ever had to fall into a barrel of titties I’d most likely come up sucking my thumb…

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This really happened  

doo 89 My mate Barry phoned me one day to tell me Mick Doohan was coming to SA on a ‘low profile’ visit and we were gonna chaperone him around…

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Very fast Mini

mini I knew the Mustang wouldn’t get hurt, it had big chrome bumpers designed for the specific task of nudging small European cars out the way. I mean, for what other reason did the Americans put such big bumpers on their cars? – To curb any possible influx of sensible small economic cars, did they not?

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I have plenty more where these came from, but as I’ve pointed out in some of these stories, you shouldn’t always believe the tripe I write…


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